The “spare the rod and spoil the child” saying is an old one that a lot of parents believe given them the ass that they need to physically abuse their children as opposed to properly managing their own emotions enough to provide effective discipline to their children.
Sadly, some parents are of the habit of spanking, beating or hitting their kids with their hands or objects in order to make them obedient.
A lot of people use the because that it worked for their parents so they apply it to their kids as well, but think about it; your parents also smoke and drank when they were pregnant, abided by the laws of Jim Crow and repressed women to the point where they couldn’t purchase a car on their own without the presence of a man, according to Psychology Today.
None of that was a good idea. Perhaps spanking isn’t as well.
As matter of fact, many parents beat their kids without even thinking of teaching them any kind of lesson. The act serves as a way of these parents to release emotional and retaliatory energy. As parents, we need to evolve and do better by your children.
Now, studies have shown that hitting your children is capable of turning them into aggressive, violent people with serious emotional issues.
According to a report by CNN, a study conducted by the University of Texas Medical Branch surveyed about 8800 adults and discovered that most of the adults who have violent behaviors or tendencies in their relationships were hit by their parents.
“Regardless of whether someone experienced child abuse or not, spanking alone was predictive of dating violence,” Jeff Temple, Psychiatry Professor at the University of Texas Medical Branch and the study’s lead author told CNN.
The study discovered that hitting your kids teaches them that physical violence is the only way to resolve conflicts, and they can end up carrying the lesson throughout their lives.
“Parents are physically bigger and stronger than children. They also know more than children and, because their brains are fully developed, they are capable of greater self-control” Dr. Denise Cummins wrote in a piece for Psychology Today.
“When a parent tries to get children to behave better by hitting them, that parent is telling them that hitting people who are smaller and weaker than you is an acceptable way of getting what you want from them. Why should it surprise that parent when their children beat up smaller children at school, or grow up to be wife beaters?”
In addition, studies discovered that spanking or hitting children makes them angry, resentful adults with emotional and psychological problems.
“A large meta-analysis of studies on the effects of punishment found that the more physical punishment children receive, the more defiant they are toward parents and authorities, the poorer their relationships with parents, the more likely they are to report hitting a dating partner or spouse,” Cummins writes. “They are also more likely to suffer mental health problems, such as anxiety, depression, and substance abuse problems, and less likely to empathize with others or internalize norms of moral behavior.”
So parents, you might want to stop being lazy, control your feelings and emotions and start learning how to respect the gifts of God to you by disciplining them properly.