We have so many plans in our lives but sometimes, life doesn’t turn out the way we want it to be. The couple Meaganne Childre and her husband Casey were both excited when they learned that they are going to have a baby. At 24 weeks of gestation, their dreams crumbled and their joy was quickly overshadowed.
Meaganne was having severe upper abdominal pain and she ended up in the hospital, diagnosed with preeclampsia. She was informed that her blood pressure had shot up to 190/110. Preeclampsia is a pregnancy complication that is primarily characterized by high blood pressure. This is usually signs of damage to another organ system, most often the liver and kidneys. The couple’s baby received steroid shots to help her lungs and brain development while in the utero and Meaganne was placed on bed rest to prevent further pregnancy problems. She just made it one more week after that event and her condition grew worse. They were quickly headed to the delivery room and she delivered her baby.
She is Baby Charlotte Cate – a micro-preemie who weighed 1 lb 4 oz. She was very tiny and she measured 11.2 inches long. The baby was immediately intubated and brought to the NICU. Despite her condition, the couple was ecstatic to spend time with her. However, five days later, Baby Charlotte suffered a cardiac arrest. What made it more painful for the couple is that this sad tragedy fell on Meaganne and Casey’s third wedding anniversary.
The doctors tried their hardest to save Baby Charlotte but after 45 minutes of chest compressions, her tiny body gave up. Meaganne and Casey were then told to prepare themselves to say their goodbyes to Baby Charlotte.
“We finally got to hold our sweet baby, bathe her, dress her, and tell her goodbye.”
Things were never easy for the couple even if it has already been 2 ½ months since Baby Charlotte passed away. Meaganne shared with Love What Matters that she misses being pregnant and she missed the feeling of Baby Charlotte inside her tummy, wriggling around and that incomparable moment when she was finally able to hold her in her arms.
Meaganne had to return to the obstetrician for her 7-week C-section follow-up. She is plagued with anxiety and it got worse when the receptionist at the doctor’s office unintendedly triggered another anxiety attack. Her words crushed the grieving mom. Meaganne shared that as soon as she got there, the girl sitting at the front desk with a big smile on her face asked her:
“Where’s the baby? No baby?”
Meaganne just shook her head ‘no’ but the receptionist continued to inquire why she didn’t bring her baby along with her. She shared, “I just had to fake a small smile and tell her she actually passed away.” The receptionist was obviously taken aback by the sad reality that Meaganne revealed and apologized that she asked.
She is continuously battling with the anxiety brought about by her daughter’s death but she wants everyone to know that it is okay to seek help like what she is doing now. It is okay to admit to yourself that you can’t deal with everything on your own. Anxiety may never go away, grief can be exhausting, but like Meaganne, take it one day at a time. Life can be unfair sometimes, but you have to put on your big girl shoes and don’t let it control you.