Some kids grew up without a father. But this baby is lucky because she does not only have one, not two but three dads on her birth certificate!
Doctor Ian Jenkins, 45, and his partners Alan Mayfield and Jeremy Allen Hodges, from San Diego, are in a polyamorous family. To be polyamorous means they are in an open intimate or romantic relationship with more than one person at a time. Those who are in this type of relationship can be heterosexual, lesbian, gay, or bisexual.
And these California “throuple” is making history after putting all of their names as the dads of a lucky little girl on the same birth certificate!
These three dads made legal history in 2017 when a judge agreed to put them all on the birth certificate of their daughter Piper. What they did inspire other polyamorous families to also fight to gain greater legal recognition in the United States. Aside from Piper, the dads now have a 14-month-old son, Parker. Piper and Parker are half-siblings since they were both born using an egg donor and a surrogate.
Ian is a specialist in hospital medicine and a university professor. He described their ‘unique family’ set up as ‘just three tame, regular people who spend a lot of time talking about what to have for dinner.’ Ian and Alan have been together for 17 years. They have been with their partner, Jeremy, for eight. The kids call Jeremy ‘daddy’, while Alan is ‘Dada’ and Ian is ‘Papa.’
The family’s story began around 8 years ago. Ian and Alan met in 2003 but they were unsure whether they wanted children. But when they met zoo-keeper Jeremy in 2012, they started to discuss it. And when they agreed, their friend Meghan offered embryos. After a different friend offered to be the surrogate for the embryos, they paid for many lawyers then Piper was born. After Piper’s birth, the fathers appealed to a local San Diego judge but initially refused to add them all to the certificate. The judge claimed that she was unable to set a precedent. Ian explained, “She looked at all the options in front of her and found a way to use existing laws to give us the first birth certificate of its kind anywhere.”
Then years later, Parker was born.
Because of their special family setting, this inspired Ian to write a book which they have already released a book. The book is called “Three Dads and a Baby.” You might be familiar with the title which is a play on the smash-hit 1987 comedy film, “Three Men and a Baby” starring Tom Selleck, Ted Danson, and Steve Guttenberg.
“Three Dads and a Baby,” tells the story of their unusual family. Readers will also find here tips, including how to develop a ‘consistent parenting style.’ The book will be published this March by Cleis Press and Simon and Schuster. The book also gives advice on what to do when your child prefers what to call each one of you. There are also some positive sides talked about in the book like having three incomes and three people doing night feeds.
During an interview with HuffPost, Ian said, “We did have slight attention to the fact that our kids might be perceived differently. We didn’t want them to become a target of teasing or bullying or online abuse.” But thankfully, nothing like this ever happened to their kids. Ian added, “Our oldest now is in preschool, and the other parents and kids are like, ‘Cool! Tell us that story.’”
According to them, ‘continuous conversation’ is the key to a healthy, polyamorous relationship especially when it comes to parenting. Ian explained, “When our oldest develops the ability to have a tantrum like a reactor breaking down in Chernobyl, we all have to be on the same page. What’s the best approach? How much time for a time out? What do you call it? Does the parent need help or is it adding fuel to the fire?”
Ian said their family also wanted to raise awareness of the need for more legal rights for polyamorous families. But he is glad and feels lucky to be in a ‘liberal’ state like California.
